My neurologist doesn't want to do anymore tests, he doesn't feel it is necessary. Even when he has been told by another neurologist, that he should refer me for a certain test. He thinks my problems will just get better on their own with time and physiotherapy!
So i have been doing physiotherapy for the past 4 months nearly, and my problems have actually just got worse. So i don't really think me just sitting and waiting, and hoping is going to fix the problem!
I don't understand how as a doctor you can think it's OK to refuse anymore tests for your patience, and just tell them i don't know what the problem is, but it could just resolve itself with time and physiotherapy even though it is all just getting worse. I hope i am not the only one who thinks that is just madness!
I have a life that i want to get on with, and i want to know what i am going to be able to do with my life. Am i going to be able to get back to dancing, and be able to carry on with what i wanted to do? OR do i need to look into another path to go down?
I want to be able to start planning my life out and know if this is going to be a permanent thing, and i may be left unable to walk unaided, or if i will get back to walking but unable to dancing or get back to full health and how i was before!
After thinking i had it all set out when i went off to university, and thinking i would be going on to have a career in dance, to now be sat here thinking am i going to walk again unaided?!
After fighting back to get on my feet again and dancing, after my battle with cancer and working so hard to not let that illness control me, and stop me from doing what i love. I have been hit again with the thought of not knowing what will happen. I can stay strong and positive most of the time and telling myself i will get back to it. I don't really know this time if i will and that is the hardest thing, to know that after fight what i did and to get through it and dance again, to now be at the point with something that could stop me from going back to do what i love. That is the hardest thing to accept!!
I just want the doctors to start doing their job, and actually do something to help me. I want a diagnosis so i can say, OK so i have this but we can do this about it and then i will be able to do this much, so i can go on to do this or that. So i can plan what i am going to do with my life!
Once again sorry to my fellow readers that this blog is once again, more of me having a big rant and a moan, but i like to let it all out and share it. After seeing the comments on my last blog it is nice to know that, people are still willing to read and listen even when it is me just having a moan.
So THANK YOU! :)
(Sorry there are no quotes today)